Listening with the third ear

Knowing how to listen is by no means easy.

You need to be open and interested in what the other person wants to communicate and share, grasping both the mood and the meaning of what is being expressed. We often realise that something has happened during the exchange because we feel somehow touched deep down, but we do not quite understand why. We pick up these signals from body language, sounds, smells and touch without being aware of it.

Listening attentively not only to what a person says, but also to the implicit message of the conversation, tone of voice, posture and attitude, and at the same time making a mental note of what the person is probably going through and reflecting on how what we see affects us. This attitude allows us to understand not only the meaning the person we are listening to is trying to convey, but also everything they say and do.

Listening skills help us to better understand not only what our interlocutors are trying to say in words, but also the emotions and feelings they are experiencing as they speak. Depending on the body language and emotional tone of the person saying it, the phrase “I’m happy” conveys different messages. The words can be spoken with visible joy, jest or cynicism. These emotional components complement the message. This is why the tone of a statement always contains a great deal of additional content.

“Listening with the third ear” means listening to what is not being said. Many of one’s thoughts, feelings and motivations are at a level that could be described as unconscious and subconscious. However, these are usually subtle nuances and therefore not always easy to decipher.

Carl Ransom Rogers, American psychologist, stated that “We do not listen only with our ears, but also with our eyes, mind, heart and imagination. We listen to what is happening inside us, as well as what is happening in the person we are listening to. We hear each other’s words, but also the messages and meanings hidden in these words.”